For J.

So there you are,

Holding her hand.

Touching her cheek.

It's okay.

I don't blame you.

Why would I?

It's not your fault.

But there's something I have to tell you.

She was young and careless when we first met,

But she already had her dreams.

And she did everything to make them come true,

And I thought I would be there

To see the moment of joy.

And there's still so much for you to learn,

For you've known her for a few months only,

And I, for seven years.

But I know that sometimes

Less is more.

And you might have already noticed

That she loves escapism,

And she reads an awful lot.

And soon you'll learn how she holds her pencil

And how she tosses in her sleep.

And that she doesn't speak when she's down.

Or maybe she does to you,

For you're her other half.

And it's fine that you're the one who stays with her at night,

And that each week, she checks your rota first, not mine.

But please,

I'm begging you,

Don't you ever let her down.

Keep her happy.

For me.

For you.

Because she's everything to me,

And, in a different way,

She's everything to you.

And you're everything to her.

So please.

Give her all the things I couldn't give her.

Be her soulmate.

Be her best friend.

Be her whole world.

Don't ever leave her.

Be her family.

Marry her.

Give her children.

Make her happy.

Make her forget about me,

Because I don't need her grief or her guilt.

I just need her to be happy

With you.

Long time no see.

I've spent some time today to go through a couple of old files, and I've found some interesting things including a poem I've written back in 2016, after my then-squish found a romantic partner and left me behind. Because yeah, I'm on the aromantic spectrum. I don't even know if this counts as coming out, I've been quite open about it on other platforms for the last couple of years. Oh, and I know Pride month is just about to be over, but better late than never.